I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I party with great urgency now.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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