Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
