Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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