i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
