My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
