Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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