Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
