is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
