Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Randomize
