Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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