There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
