I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
