I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
