you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
