It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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