do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
they're like a gay fantastic four
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
