good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
