dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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