I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
