bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
