I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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