Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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