This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
