It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
