I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Drunk is not a location!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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