It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
