I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize