he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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