Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
