once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize