how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
