Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
