She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
