Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
