ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize