you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
