Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
