finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
