It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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