you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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