It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
NoShamevember. You game?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
