watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
