the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
