Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize