we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
