Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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