There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize