Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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