great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
