yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
His nipple licking is glorious
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