Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
