What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
