my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
