Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize