FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
