There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
