sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We had sex on a dog bed..
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
