i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
the raccoons are back...
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