Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
