i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
