Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
i think my cat just said my name.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
