Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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