I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
