im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
someone owes me an orgasm
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
